What would you do?

​Today is my wife’s birthday! She asked me to share this post with you last month, but I wanted to wait until today. The purpose of this post is to encourage you to make your marriage your number one priority, because life is short. This week’s homework is found at the end of this post. What would you do? On February 15th 2017 my wife and I were feeling great. Our careers were going wonderful, our children were successful and healthy, we had incredible friends, a great church family and our marriage was strong. Life was all good! Within two weeks we would learn that Cathy has stage four lung cancer that has spread to her brain, liver and lymph nodes. We were initially shocked and devastated. This came out of nowhere. She had never smoked, was working out four times a week and has always been healthy and strong. Our plan had always been for me to finish my pastoral career in St. Louis, for Cathy to retire from Mo-Dot and eventually move to Destin Florida where I would continue to coach couples on making good marriages great and save broken marriages. Now what? After shedding many tears, going from Doctor to Doctor, praying and consulting with family and friends, we decided on a plan. Four words would guide our days and all of our actions. The four words are Live, Love, Fight and Trust.

Live: We have always lived everyday to the fullest. We are known for squeezing the most out of life, and we decided that this could not and would not change. God has given us this day and we are going to make the most out of it. We know we have today, we will probably have tomorrow and there was never any guarantee for that third day. So we are joyfully, making the most of everyday.

Love: The quality of your life is directly proportionate to the quality of your relationships. There is no greater relationship than the relationship between a husband and a wife. We always have loved deeply and we are committed to continue to love deeply. My wife is as beautiful to me bald as she was with her beautiful hair. We are committed to continuing to love people. We love our family, our friends, our church, our clients and even strangers.

Fight: Cathy is a fighter and she is fighting cancer daily. We have the best oncologist in St. Louis (Dr. Melissa Rooney). We are using the best and most cutting edge treatments in the world. We are using traditional and non traditional cancer defeating regimens. We are positive and not giving up.

Trust: As the St. Louis Marriage Coach, I seldom talk about my faith because I am given the opportunity to work with people of all different faith backgrounds. I love it when my clients share their faith with me, which enables me to share my own personal convictions about faith and marriage. But, the cornerstone of our marriage has always been our faith in Jesus Christ. We credit God with every wonderful thing in our life. We know He loves us so much, that there is nothing impossible for Him and that He has the power to heal. Whether he does or whether he does not, we are going to continue to trust Him.

What does this mean for my coaching practice? It means that I am more committed to helping people save their marriages today, then ever before. This whole dilemma has thrown gasoline on our passion to help people create phenomenal marriages. In the month of March, I had over 70 appointments where I helped save broken marriages and helped make good marriages great. Here is what I am asking you to do today. First, pray for Cathy and I. We are not looking for pity, just prayers. We are good. Really. Secondly, ask your partner the “What would you do?” question posed at the beginning of this post. Have a discussion around this topic. Use this topic to love more passionately. Thirdly, identify some key words that you might use for your marriage. Words that govern who you are as a couple and the actions you should be taking daily to make a great marriage. Fourth, share this post. Fifth, send Cathy a birthday wish. And finally, if your marriage is in crisis, reach out and get help. I would love to help you make your good marriage great and help you save your broken marriage. If you would like more information on my non traditional approach to marriage counseling check out www.stlouismarriagecoaching.com or call me at 314-606-4272. Until next time, keep falling more in love.