Do you have any one in your life who is a marriage champion? A marriage champion is that person that encourages you to move towards your spouse in love. It is the friend who loves you and your spouse enough to motivate you to make decisions that are in the best interest of your marriage. These voices are few and far between these days. I can’t tell you the number of marriages that would have been saved had it not been for meddling negative friends who spoke death over their friend’s marriages.
The truth is misery loves company. Whether it be the good old boys club that never grows up or the man hater woman’s club that has newly discovered the bar scene in their thirties and forties, the end result is always the same. These friends rip marriages apart instead of encouraging couples to work it out. I was talking to a friend the other day and she related the following story. She said that several years ago her former college roommate and best friend had come to her complaining about her husband. Her friend said that her relationship had grown very stale and she was bored with her marriage. At best she was thinking about having an affair and at worst she was going to ask for a divorce.
When she shared this with my friend she was looking for support for her decision. My friend took a huge risk that paid off in gold. My friend did not simply go along with her friend and say sure do whatever you want. Instead she positively took a stand. She reminded her friend of the promises that had she made the day she got married. (My friend was in her wedding). She talked to her from firsthand experience about the impact that a divorce would have on her daughter. (My friend grew up in a divorced home). She pointed out that her husband loved her dearly and she challenged her to seek help before doing anything drastic. She said instead of checking out, try falling back in love with your husband.
Fast forward several years, today her friend is very happily married to the same man, she never had an affair and is grateful to my friend for speaking the truth in love. Had my friend simply been passive or non-committal when asked, this couple would have probably divorced. I am certain that she is grateful that she had a marriage champion in her life.
Today if your marriage is in trouble be very careful about where you are getting advice. Remember misery loves company and the grass is seldom greener on the other side. Talk to people who will speak life over your marriage. Focus on reconnecting. Consider getting outside help. Find a marriage champion. Maybe even a coach. If your marriage is great, make the decision that you are going to be a marriage champion for your friends and family. There is no greater reward than to have someone come up to you years later and say, “thank you, you helped save my marriage”. Just ask my friend, she knows!