This Christmas Season, consider taking the Mistletoe Challenge! Kissing under the mistletoe is an ancient tradition, and one that many continue to embrace over the Christmas Holiday’s. The Celtic Druids were the first people to use Mistletoe as a part of their traditions. They believed mistletoe had sacred powers including the ability to heal illnesses, increase fertility, protect against nightmares, and even increase sexual desire. The tradition of kissing under the mistletoe started in ancient Greece during the festival of Saturnalia and later in marriage ceremonies. During the Roman era, enemies at war would reconcile their differences under the mistletoe, which to them represented peace.
In my coaching practice working with couples I have observed that many marriages would benefit from more kissing. Frequently couples fall into the “quick peck” kissing pattern. The quick peck pattern is the hello and goodbye kiss that last two seconds. According to the March 2014 issue of Psychology Today new research found major advantages to couples who kiss on a regular basis. A major study this past year proved that there is a correlation between the frequency of kissing and marital satisfaction. They also found correlations between increased kissing and lower stress, lower cholesterol, and higher esteem. The benefits are conclusive. So this Holiday season consider taking a kissing challenge.
Here is the challenge:
- Make a decision that you are going to incorporate more kissing into your relationship with your spouse. Most couples stop kissing, not because they made an intentional decision, but because they let this part of their relationship drift. To reintroduce kissing into the relationship, it requires intentionality.
- Have an honest conversation with your spouse about kissing. Ask your partner how satisfied they are with the frequency, length, and technique of your current kissing patterns. Have an honest conversation about why you don’t kiss more often. You may find that it has to do with intentionality, the business of schedules, fears about technique or bad breath, or general tiredness. In my coaching practice, I sometimes hear that a spouse does not want to kiss, because their partner will expect sex if they kiss passionately. They want to have affection and closeness, but do not always want it to end with sex. Talk about possible solutions to these challenges. Breakthroughs start with conversations and honesty.
- Make a commitment to kiss for at least 10 seconds once a day for the rest of the year. Make it part of the relationship DNA for the next several weeks and then talk about how it is positively impacting the relationship. After you take the Mistletoe challenge don’t be surprised when you are experiencing greater connection and better health.