The greatest gift you can give your spouse (and yourself) is the gift of making a decision that your marriage is going to be your number 1 priority. Frequently we don’t think about decision making in terms of gift giving, but in the case of your marriage this is truly where it all begins. Isn’t it true that your marriage ultimately began as a result of a decision? Either you or your partner made the decision that they were going to offer a marriage proposal.
In their mind they made the decision that they wanted to marry and spend the rest of their life with this one person. Chances are it was the most significant decision that they ever made. So these initial decisions, the decision to propose and the decision to accept the proposal started your marital journey. For many couples, this is where the decision making stops. Many people make the assumption that just because you were in love and now you are married that the marriage would be great. One of the reasons that the divorce rate is 50%, and studies suggest that 50% of the people who are married are thinking about divorce, is because of this one decision mentality.
Through the years I have had the opportunity to work with thousands of couples and one thing I know for certain is that if you are ever going to have a great marriage, it is because you have made the conscious decision to make it great. I have never found a great marriage that just happened. It simply does not work that way. One of my mentors, Anthony Robbins says, “It is in our moments of decision that our destinies are shaped” Isn’t it true that there are some decisions that you could make in the next 24 hours that would drastically damage the quality of your marriage? Isn’t it also true that there are some decisions that you could make in the next 24 hours that would drastically improve the quality of your marriage? Make the decision today that you are going to make your marriage your number 1 priority. Then share that decision with your spouse.
The word decision comes from the latin root word de, which means from and cadre which means to cut. Making a true decision means committing to achieving a result, and then cutting yourself off from any other possibility. True decisions are always linked directly to actions. Make a decision and then to enforce the decision take an action.
One of my clients whose marriage has felt more like a roommate situation than a soul mate situation recently discovered this truth. He acknowledged that the relationship was where it was because of decisions that he had made upstream. He had made decisions to put his work, friends and hobbies before his family and wife. In the midst of these decisions his wife had become cold and distant. She committed her time to the children, her own career and to their home. This changed the day my client made the decision that his wife was going to be his number 1 priority. He surprised his wife with a date night, and a great big gift wrapped box with a bow on top. Inside the box were two letters. The first letter was a heartfelt apology. The second letter was a declaration of intention to make his wife his number 1 priority.
This touched his wife’s heart but she was skeptical. She wondered if this commitment was sustainable. Now, three months later, they are trending towards a phenomenal marriage. My client would tell you that everything changed when he made the decision that he was going to make his wife his number 1 priority. What’s preventing you from giving your spouse this gift today? Don’t wait till tomorrow.
Make the decision today. You will be glad that you did and you really will be on your way to
creating a great marriage.