Can you guess what the biggest enemy to your marriage will be in 2016? Maybe it will be finances? The fear or reality that you might not have enough financial resource to accomplish all of your dreams. Maybe it will be health issues? The inability to physically move and do the things that you want to do as a couple. Maybe it will be challenges with the kids or with aging parents who are now living with you? The challenges of raising and children and for some of us who are taking care of our parents can be overwhelming. While all of these issues can take its toll on your marriage, the truth is your marriage can survive all of these and more in 2016. The biggest enemy to your marriage in 2016 is accepting mediocrity as the norm for your relationship.
In working with married couples throughout the years, I have found that there are five types of marriages. The first type of marriage that I have observed are phenomenal marriages. These are marriages where couples consistently put love first, have a deep loving connection and work to continue to create passion and love in the relationship.
The second type of marriage that I have observe are good marriages. These marriages have the relationship and relationship issues on the radar. They know that creating and sustaining love takes work and intentionality. They may not be their yet, but they are committed to working on the relationship.
The third type of relationship is the dead marriage. These are couples who have made the decision to continue to stay together and live as roommates. They stay together for finances, convenience, the kids or morality. While this is no way to live, for these couples there is a mutual understanding and agreement that the marriage is dead.
The fourth type of relationship is the heading for divorce marriage. These marriages usually have one person who has checked out of the marriage, and another person is working to save the marriage. The person who is wanting a divorce believes that there is too much water under the bridge and that they can not turn back. Frequently there are affairs involved. I have had a great deal of success in helping these marriages.
The fifth type of relationship is in my opinion the most dangerous marriage. It is what I call the drift marriage. It is the marriage that has settled for mediocrity. It is the marriage that says, “Our relationship is not phenomenal and it is not good, but it is good enough.” The danger with this relationship is that it will eventually land in the dead or heading for divorce category.
Identify which type of marriage you have today. The first key to turning a dead, heading for divorce or drift marriage around is making a decision to do something about the marriage. Make it your number one priority to create a phenomenal marriage in 2016. The truth is you can turn your marriage around and create the marriage of your dreams. It all starts with a decision. Make it today!