Words Have Power

​           “I told her I loved her the day I married her.  If anything changes, I will let her know.” 
 
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a phrase that was first coined in 1830 by Alexander William Kinglake.  Kinglake was an English travel writer and historian who traveled the world and wrote of his adventures in a book published in 1844 called Eothen.  The phrase was later changed to “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me”.   The phrase has become the common response to verbal bullying in school playgrounds throughout the English-speaking world.  Many of us remember this saying from our childhood days.  The problem with both of these sayings is that neither one of them are true.  Unkind name calling and unkind words do hurt.  As a marriage coach, I can tell you that spoken and unspoken words can be a blessing or a curse in marriage.  Spoken words matter and unspoken words matter.  Words are one of the primary ways that we communicate our love and our feelings.  There are only two other ways to express to our spouse that we love them.  Our actions speak the loudest.  Our body language speaks volumes.  And our words bring it all home.   All three are important.  All relationships need all three.  Take a quick survey and ask yourself these questions.   Can my spouse tell that I love them by my actions?  Can my spouse tell that I love them by my body language?  Can my spouse tell that I love them by my words?  If you answered no to any of these questions, it is time to step up your game.   Words might not matter to you, but I can guarantee they matter to your spouse.  A few well-timed words can make your spouse’s day.  Words not spoken can ruin a day.  Careless words can kill the relationship.  If words are difficult for you or you are not quite sure what to say, the following list of phrases can help.
 
Here is a list of 25 phrases that you might begin to use to demonstrate love, appreciation, and encouragement to your spouse.
 
I appreciate you and everything you do
Thank you
I am committed to you
I am committed to our marriage
Let’s spend more time together
I like you
You are a wonderful husband/wife
You are a wonderful father/mother
I love the way you provide for our family
I love the way you take care of our family
I am at my best when I am with you
You can always make me smile
You can always make me laugh
I am so proud of you
I am so glad that I married you
I love you
How are you?
You are my best friend
Let’s work things out
We should work together to make this work
Is there something that I can do for you?
I believe in you
I know that you will make the right decision
You have my 100% support
I am sorry
 
If you would like 75 more phrases to encourage and express love to your spouse, email Jennifer at drjenniferrispoli@gmail.com and she will get the report out to you asap.  I frequently hear people in their 40’s, 50’s & 60’s lament that their fathers never told them that they loved them.  Their dads were like the man who is quoted at the beginning of the article that says, “I told her I loved her the day I married her.  If anything changes, I will let her know”.  Don’t be that spouse.  Tell your spouse today that you love them, you believe in them, and that you are never giving up on the marriage.  Please share this post with anyone who might benefit from it.  If I can ever be of any assistance to you as you strive to make your good marriage great or save your failing marriage, I am available to you.  To learn more about my nontraditional approach to marriage counseling or to schedule an appointment, go to themarriagecoach.com or call me at 314-606-4272.  Until next time keep falling more in love and remember to tell your spouse that you love them