​There is a story that is going viral this week that has people talking about wedding rings.  A video on TikTok has over 10 million views.  Gaby Leon tells how her husband left on a guy’s trip to Las Vegas and “accidently” left his wedding ring at home.  Gaby found the ring and confronted her husband about it.  He flippantly responded with an emoji saying he simply forgot it and that she needed to relax.  This sent Gaby over the edge, so she locked down all of her husband’s bank cards leaving him penniless in Las Vegas.  She spent the rest of the weekend partying with her girlfriends.  I have sent Gaby and her husband my marriage coaching business card.  
   I lost my wedding ring once.   I looked down at my hand during church and noticed it was gone. I was shocked and panicked. When I got home, my wife and I tore the house apart looking for my ring. We checked everywhere. We called the restaurant we had dined at the night before and they said that no one had found a wedding ring. My wife asked, “When was the last time you knew that you were wearing it?” This was the problem. I could not be certain, when I last noticed my ring. All I knew was that it was gone. I had to leave on a three-day business trip to Des Moines Iowa. I was embarrassed as I met with several clients who I am certain were wondering, “Why is the marriage coach not wearing a wedding ring?” I wondered if my colleagues were thinking, “Are Dave and his wife having problems, what happened to his wedding ring?” The worse thought was that maybe my wife was thinking, “Did he lose his ring on purpose before this out-of-town trip? Is this a sign of how he views our marriage?”  When we make a conscious decision not to wear our wedding ring, we send our spouse and others all of these messages. We leave our spouse wondering, “Do they really love me?” We leave others wondering, “Are they married?” The ring is a symbol of love and faithfulness forever. It should always be worn, and it should be a coveted sign of love to your spouse. If you have consciously taken off your wedding ring because you are angry with your spouse, put it back on immediately. Even if your partner is making the decision not to wear theirs, put yours back on. Wear it because the day you were married you said, “I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness forever”. You received a ring on your finger with the same promise. The ring becomes a symbol of two lives becoming one. It is a sign to the individual that they have made promises and are the recipients of a great promise. They are a sign to their partner that they are loved forever. And the ring becomes a symbol to others that says I am in this committed covenant relationship and have become one with my spouse.  We found my wedding ring on the floor in our laundry room. I was so excited to have my ring back! Today, if you are in a great marriage that you are striving to make even better, take a picture of your finger with your wedding ring, and text it to your spouse with a message that celebrates your marriage. If you are in a broken marriage that you are trying to save, take a picture of your finger with your wedding ring, and text it to your spouse with a message that says, “I still believe in you, I believe in us, and I am not giving up on our marriage”. Broken marriages are restored every day because one person is willing to fight for the relationship. Put your ring on your finger, keep the promises that the ring represents, and never give up. 
 

​Happy 4th of July! I want to share a story about the power of honor and value that could truly transform your marriage, regardless of your current marital situation. The story is a Polynesian legend that, no doubt, is rooted in truth. There was a Polynesian island tradition that when a man wanted to marry a woman, he would have to offer the bride's father a payment he believed to be of equal value to what she was worth. Most men would give a pig, chicken, parrot, or some similar small animal. For a woman who was exceptionally beautiful, the suitor might be willing to offer his goat. One day, there was a woman in the village whose name was Isabel. Isabel had just reached the age to be married but she was considered to be more plain and ordinary than most. She did not have many suitors. One potential suitor offered Isabel’s father a goose. Another potential suitor offered Isabel’s father a rabbit. One suitor came along, however, and offered her father ten of his finest cows. Everyone was shocked. No one had ever paid so much for a bride. All the other young men walked away saying, “No woman is worth that much!” Everyone thought the suitor was foolish and extravagant. But this suitor knew exactly what he was doing. Knowing the value her suitor had placed on her, Isabel began to hold her head higher as she strolled through the village. She, after all, was now the famous “ten-cow woman”. She paid more attention to her speech, her dress, and her way of conducting herself. She became confident and elegant. Her facial expressions became kind and gentle. Her body movements were graceful and elegant. Her voice was soft and caring. She became what she believed her worth to be and developed into the most stunning, beautiful, and graceful woman on the entire string of islands. Everyone marveled at the young woman’s transformation and all thought the lucky man had received full value for his bride price. The truth is he had, and so can you. Begin to view your spouse and your marriage through this “Ten-Cow” lens that says and believes that your marriage and your spouse are the most precious and valuable things in your life. Begin to treat your spouse like they are the most valuable asset in your life, and you will quickly begin to see a transformation in your marriage and your spouse. Start today! If you know of anybody who might benefit from this post, please share it. If I can ever be of any assistance to you and your spouse, please know that my passion is helping good marriages become great, and healing broken marriages. If you would like more information about my non-traditional approach to marriage counseling, go to stlouismarriagecoaching.com or call me at 314-606-4272. Until next time, keep falling more in love.