3 types of conversations

One of the foundations of great marriages is communication.   Communication is one of the keys to getting an incredible connection with your spouse.  When communication is not healthy, the love connection quickly fades and the relationship ends.  There are many pieces to the concept of communication and there are many ways to communicate besides talking, but for today’s post I want to focus on conversation.   The term conversation comes from a Latin word that means, “to turn together” or “to change together”.  It implies the frequent coming together and the addressing of issues.  Relationships that are phenomenal have a healthy blend of three very distinct types of conversation.  The first type of conversation is what is called logistical conversations.  These are conversations that must occur in order to run the household.  These are conversations that revolve around children, money, housework, employment, scheduling and the day to day operations of being roommates.  Unfortunately, for many couples this is the only type of conversation that occurs in the relationship.  When couples complain that they are living more like roommates than soul mates, this is usually one of the culprits.  Frequently the tone of these conversations can be negative, especially when there are competing expectations about how things “should be”.   The second type of conversation is what is called the friendship conversations.  These are conversations that build the relationship.  These are conversations about your day, what makes you happy, and what you are most excited about or looking forward too.  These are dialogues where you share yourself and you learn about your partner.  This is the type of conversation that is fun and light.  These are the conversations that couples have at the beginning of the relationship, that lead to connection and that falling in love feeling.  One of the dangers in marriages is when partners only have these conversations with other people outside of the marriage.  The third type of conversation is the love connection conversation.  The purpose of the love connection conversation is for you to deliver a message to your spouse that lets them know that they are important to you, that you value the relationship and that you genuinely care about them.  This type of conversation is when you call in the middle of the day, just because you were thinking about your spouse.  It is a daily conversation where you deliver a message that says, “I adore you!”  or “I can’t wait to see you tonight”.  If you want to have a phenomenal relationship you really need to have all three types of conversations.  In future post, I will be talking about how to maximize all three types of conversations to get incredible connection, but for today, be certain that you are having all three types of conversations on a daily basis. 

If you know of someone who might benefit from today’s post please share it.  If I can ever be of any assistance to you on your own marital journey, you can learn more about me and my alternative approach to marriage counseling at www.stlouismarriagecoaching.com  till next week keep falling more in love!